Comedian Shannon Thompson

There has been talk about the USPS going to a 5 day work week. Now as a person in business for myself you would think the 1 less day of mail delivery would bother me, but you would be incorrect.

I receive mail nearly every day and most days my mail consists of grocery ads, coupons and the occasional letter from The Scooter Store (this is usually address to Tommy and we are not sure why). I can’t speak for everyone, but I know I can live with one less day of that mail delivery.

There is no reason the Postal Service couldn’t delivery all the mail they have in a 5 day span. It would be beneficial for us as consumers as well. Five day delivery week would mean less man hours, and as a man who is dating a mailman (she prefers mail carrier) I can vouch that she gets as much overtime as she wants per week. She averages 60 hours a week, which to me seems excessive (sorry Kim).

With the advancement of technology we have found other ways to convey our messages to each other: email, facebook and other social networking sites making mailing a letter nearly obsolete. In another 5 years you will not need to mail a wedding invitation, you can do it from facebook.

Plus, who actually mails their own bills in anymore? I haven’t mailed in a bill in 3 years. With check cards and online bill pay you don’t need to. I don’t even have checks for my checking account.

Here is the main reason for my post. With a five day delivery week the Postal Service will be able to eliminate the lazy mailmen on their payroll. I don’t want someone fired for no reason, but my mailman is the laziest fucker in the Postal Service. The Postal Service recently did a food drive where they delivered plastic bags to your mailbox and you were to fill them with canned goods and they would pick them up on a certain day. Well I filled mine and left it next to the mailbox on the designated day for pick up, this fuck didn’t pick it up. I proceed to leave it out there for the next 3 days in a row, he still hasn’t picked it up. Now this means I am gonna have to go out and pick it up, and I was really trying to avoid having to pick this bag up since I am lazy and now its wet cause its been sitting in the rain.

I hope this letter finds a way to reach a mailman or some other postal employee, only because they will probably stop delivering all my mail together which is good. If Tommy gets one more letter from the Scooter Store I think he might break down and buy one. Oh and the first time I have to wait one extra day for a check to come in the mail I am gonna bitch about the five day delivery week, because I am a hypocrite.