Physical Violence – This seems like the most logical reaction to anger, but probably not the most productive way to unleash the beast in you. Sure you will probably be physically tired after beating the living shit out of someone but the reprecussions that follow are usually and I stress USUALLY not worth it.

Verbal Abuse – Probably my favorite way to spur the agression I have in me. Very few things are more enjoyable than calling someone a stupid fuck face while you are driving. Becareful though. Verbal abuse can lead you back to physical violence very quickly.

Self Mutalation – I generally don’t endulge in this activity (once I had a girlfriend punch me in the ass when I got angry and I admit I kind of liked it). Not because I am better than that. I am not, I just don’t know how to hurt myself in a way where I actually won’t hurt myself. Once while shopping at Walmart the teller (who had many scars on her forearms) got a paper cut while checking me out. At first it seemed as though she was generally hurt, but then her mood went from pissy to quite pleasant, so who knows maybe I am missing out on something here.

Here are some ideas from the experts at the Mayo Clinic (what ever that place is).

Take A Time Out – This may work for some people but to me it just seems like taking an extra 10 seconds is 10 seconds longer than the douche who just wronged you deserves. I say take 10 seconds after you are done pummeling someone and reflect on how things could have been different.

Use Humor To Diffuse A Situation – I agreed whole heartedly with this one, until I read further into the suggestion and it said “but don’t use sarcasm”. Wrong! Everyone loves sarcasm.

Feel free to add your suggestions to this list.

I have spent the last 6 days shopping for a new car and every instance when the salesman rubbed me the wrong way it was usually followed by him trying to screw me on the deal. I know that is the natural progression of things, first you rub them than you screw them, but I am not that easy. Ok I am, but not when buying a car. When buying a car you need to let a relationship develop and grow. Alright maybe thats a little extreme but I at least don’t want to feel like I need a shower just by being in the company of said sales person.

Two guys this week really irked me, which as most of you know is not all that hard. Guy number one pretty much chased my car down as I pulled into the lot. I was just browsing and this guy chased me like he was a lawyer and I had just been rearended. So I stop and mentioned the one car that I came to look at (I found a bunch of cars online that I liked and went to go test drive). Right after I mentioned which car I was interested in he said if you like it will you buy it today? Muthafucker I haven’t even seen yet alone drove the car. You are putting the cart before the horse. I don’t care how much I liked the car I wouldn’t have bought it because of this sales guy.

Guy number two was a little more subtle. This guy treated me like I assume he treats his wife. With apathy. He seemed like I was an bothering him more than he was trying to sell me a car. I take out a 08 Hyndai Sonata for a test drive and I like it. We go into talk numbers and I ask him what he will give me for a trade in on my 2000 Acura TL. With out even looking in a book or online he blurts out I will give you a $1000 for it. I laughed at him. I couldn’t help it. I checked out my trade in value before I stepped one foot into a lot. The blue book value for my car is $2200 (it has 209,000 miles on it). That is the kind of shit that makes buying a car such a chore.

I think when buying a car the consumer should be allowed to water board a salesman just to get them to actually be civil and honest. If that is not possible, pre-judge the fucker.

1. Megan Fox – Sure she is hot, but I dare to say my flaccid penis has more range.

2. Hugh Grant – Sorry old chap, but playing yourself in a movie doesn’t constitute as acting.

3. Hayden Christianson – Wow could you have been any worse in the Star Wars movies? Seriously, your character lacked something…or everything.

4. Keanu Reeves – This one is so obvious it doesn’t require an explanation.

5. Julia Roberts – I have never seen someone act with a bulging vein in their forehead like she does.

Feel free to add yours to the list.

1. Skinny Jeans – I am not sure how these became popular in the first place. I thought we agreed in 1991 that we would never have our crotch smothered like that again. I can’t even imagine wearing those in the summer time.

2. Finger Mustaches – If you aren’t familiar with the finger mustache consider yourself lucky. Someone thought it would be funny to hold their finger up over there mouth and pretend they had a mustache. Now it has some how become cool to do on a regular basis. I know a person that wanted to organize a finger mustache pub mosey. I would attend that event. Its much easier to beat up someone when one of their hands is occupied by their finger mustache.

I receive mail nearly every day and most days my mail consists of grocery ads, coupons and the occasional letter from The Scooter Store (this is usually address to Tommy and we are not sure why). I can’t speak for everyone, but I know I can live with one less day of that mail delivery.

There is no reason the Postal Service couldn’t delivery all the mail they have in a 5 day span. It would be beneficial for us as consumers as well. Five day delivery week would mean less man hours, and as a man who is dating a mailman (she prefers mail carrier) I can vouch that she gets as much overtime as she wants per week. She averages 60 hours a week, which to me seems excessive (sorry Kim).

With the advancement of technology we have found other ways to convey our messages to each other: email, facebook and other social networking sites making mailing a letter nearly obsolete. In another 5 years you will not need to mail a wedding invitation, you can do it from facebook.

Plus, who actually mails their own bills in anymore? I haven’t mailed in a bill in 3 years. With check cards and online bill pay you don’t need to. I don’t even have checks for my checking account.

Here is the main reason for my post. With a five day delivery week the Postal Service will be able to eliminate the lazy mailmen on their payroll. I don’t want someone fired for no reason, but my mailman is the laziest fucker in the Postal Service. The Postal Service recently did a food drive where they delivered plastic bags to your mailbox and you were to fill them with canned goods and they would pick them up on a certain day. Well I filled mine and left it next to the mailbox on the designated day for pick up, this fuck didn’t pick it up. I proceed to leave it out there for the next 3 days in a row, he still hasn’t picked it up. Now this means I am gonna have to go out and pick it up, and I was really trying to avoid having to pick this bag up since I am lazy and now its wet cause its been sitting in the rain.

I hope this letter finds a way to reach a mailman or some other postal employee, only because they will probably stop delivering all my mail together which is good. If Tommy gets one more letter from the Scooter Store I think he might break down and buy one. Oh and the first time I have to wait one extra day for a check to come in the mail I am gonna bitch about the five day delivery week, because I am a hypocrite.

Also, we would like to thank Josh, Dave and Mae for all their hard work. We couldn’t have released a CD or recorded a DVD without these guys.

Come and check out the show.

http://sianetradio.com/?p=2430

Check it out, its a great album.

http://www.amazon.com/Beat-It-Nerd-Explicit/dp/B003BNCBI2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1269038874&sr=8-1